I learned that grandma was not doing so well on Monday night last week. After speaking to my husband Erik, we decided after he got home from work on Friday, I should fly up to visit with her. We booked my flight. On Tuesday, it sounded like the pneumonia and broken bones from the coughing was something that she wouldn't be able to recover from. I was glad I made the decision to fly up there.
On Wednesday, I was on my way to the YMCA, and got a text from my Dad that they were pulling out all the IV's and letting her body naturally go into the process of dying. There wasn't much more they could do for her. This left me with the hard decision of whether to wait till Friday night to see her then or to fly out Wed. After numerous texts to Aunts, Uncles, and cousins, I was feeling anxious about making a decision.
Finally, two cousins called after they left the hospital. One told me that she overheard someone saying "This is it" and she wanted to tell me. The other cousin called me and said, "You have to decide what you want to do. Do you want to fly up here for her funeral and pray for an hour with everyone...or do you want to fly up here and see her one last time while she is still coherent?" It was then, that I knew what I wanted to do. I called my husband at work, and he said he'd be home in two hours. I called Delta and switched my flight to 5pm.
As I raced around trying to get my house in order and packed my bags, I prayed that I made the right decision. My flights went very smooth, and I landed in Milwaukee to snow falling from the sky and freezing temps! BIG change from the 78 degree weather I left in NC!
Two of my cousins that I'm very close with picked me up from the airport and took me to the hospital. I walked in the room, and made it to the hospital in time to say my "goodbye" and let Grandma know I loved her, while she could still talk to me and understand me. It made the trip SO worth while. I got to spend Wednesday night, all day Thursday, and slept next to her Thursday night. On Thursday night, when I was with Grandma, I told her that I believed in heaven, but needed some sort of a concrete evidence that "heaven was for real." I explained to her that I was afraid to die, b/c of the unknown. I wanted her to give me just ONE sign before I died to let me know not to be scared of dying.
After I walked out of the room, I told some cousins, and Aunts/Uncles that when I was in there, I told Grandma I loved her. She then told me to come closer....closer.....and again closer. When I got close enough, I told them Grandma looked up at me and said, "You were ALWAYS my favorite!" This brought many laughs throughout the weekend. But, I'm telling you...that's my story and I'm sticking to it! (:
The one thing I love about our family, is even in sad times, we can always find things to laugh about together! It's part of what makes our family dynamic so special!
Another funny story from the weekend happened on Thursday. My cousins Christa, Erin, Bailey and I all left the hospital for a break. I asked Christa to pull into the cemetery where my Grandpa was buried. We all got out of the car, walked quietly over to the grave, and stood in a somewhat uncomfortable silence. After a few seconds, Christa said, "Come on Grandpa, come take her hand...she's ready. Don't let her suffer anymore." It was during this time, that I was reading the tombstone. On it was written three names: Grandma's, Grandpa's and another name I didn't recognize. I looked up at the three of them and said, "Grandma lost a baby?" My cousin Bailey jumped back and said "Are you serious?" I pointed to the third persons name on the tombstone "Nee Driscoll "with the date next to it. EVERYONE was rolling with laughter! I had NO idea that Nee Driscoll meant her maiden name, and the date was their wedding date. Bailey said she couldn't believe that "SHE WAS THE YOUNG ONE~!" Just to set the record straight...I did get a lot of crap for saying that all weekend. When I got home and told Erik, he didn't know what Nee Driscoll meant either. And HE has his PhD from Notre Dame! Grandma always said, "God made em' God matched em'!"
All week, Grandma had been mumbling to people 11-11-11. Each day, they would say, "No, it's November the 8th, or 9th and so on. Grandma had been on pain medication because of numerous bone breaks. On Thursday night, my cousin Courtney and my Aunt Colleen and I stayed in her room over night. Grandma was in a lot of pain around midnight/1:00am. The nurse came in and gave her medicine and she rested comfortably after that. In fact, she really didn't have any good nights, so I was anxious to fall asleep, expecting to be up a lot that night. I awoke at 5:30am, and Grandma had not moved a muscle all night, was resting peacefully, and wasn't coughing anymore. Courtney told me that at 4:00am when they came in to give her more medicine and to move her, she told them just to leave her. At 5:53am Grandma woke up and was restless. I texted my Dad and told him he should come to the hospital. The nurse came in with pain medicine and went to give it to her, and I thought I saw her head move in a "no" direction ever so slightly. I looked at my Aunt Colleen, and said, "I don't think she wants the medicine." Colleen bent over and asked Grandma, "Mom, do you want your pain medicine?" and Grandma slightly shook her head no. I looked at Colleen and Courtney, and said, "Grandma's the boss." So, Colleen, asked Grandma, "Mom, are you in pain?" To our surprise, she responded "NO!" She has now gone 6 hours with no medicine and wasn't in pain for the first time in well over a week!" Amazing!
About 10 minutes later, Grandma was trying to tell us something. I had noticed her breathing was still very regular, but more shallow than the night before. She had her eyes closed and said, "Up!" Then she said it again. I bent over and said, "That's right Grandma, you can go up...they are waiting for you!" Then she very sternly said, "No, HEAD UP!" Here I was looking for a sign of some sort, and she just wanted to be readjusted!
My Dad got to the hospital and Colleen and I left to go shower. We really weren't in a huge hurry. Aunt Colleen was just taking her sweet time....Ok maybe she told me she could have baked two dozen cookies by the time I was ready! We also went through Starbucks, to get a few coffees, and they screwed up on our order. At the checkout, the lady gave Colleen a "Free Coffee" coupon. Little did we know we would have to use it for a cup of coffee that never got drank. On our way back to the hospital, Courtney called and said, "Where are you? RUN!" I've never seen anyone sprint so fast and so light on their feet as my Aunt Colleen was that Friday in November....OK, maybe I'm lying a little. I might have heard Colleen moaning, "I don't run...this is why I walk every day...not RUN!" Even at a very stressful moment, we were able to laugh! Grandma would have loved it!
Grandma told the nurse that "this was it." My Dad, and four of his brothers and sisters were around her bed with her. Myself and numerous cousins were in the room as well. My Aunt Maureen, my Grandma's oldest child was in South Korea waiting for her daughter to give birth to another great-grandchild any day. My uncle Corky, Grandma's baby was in Uganda with my sister Ann Marie waiting to bring her daughter home that she is adopting. They have been in Uganda since October and were told that the judge wouldn't make his ruling till December 2nd and then they had to get a passport and a visa. Corky and AnnMarie were/are frustrated at how long, and slow the process is. Ann Marie has a 5 and 6 year old at home, that she is missing more than ever. Yet, through this whole ordeal, Corky stayed with Ann Marie. Neither of them having any idea when they would step foot again on US soil. (Some families have been over there for 8 months waiting for a passport from the Ugandan Embassy!) My Grandma told both her kids a few days earlier that they needed to stay put. They were bringing life into our family, as life was going out.
Thanks to Skype, Corky was able to be with Grandma on an iphone, and her eyes were focused on him as her time was nearing. Her breathing was getting more and more sparatic, and her color more and more grey. Corky, is the fire chief in the town they live in. Grandma use to always have the scanner going in her kitchen so she would never miss a beat of anything that was going on. As she was taking her final few breaths, the hospital started testing the fire alarm system. This made us all laugh, as it was the PERFECT way for her to go out. Some of us Grand-kids had put Christmas decorations up in the room, as it was her favorite holiday and always a very special time for our family. As grandma breathed in her last breath, Corky via Skype from Uganda said to her, "Your first order of business when you get up there is to get us a passport!" And just like that, her pulse stopped and so did her breathing.
All of a sudden, the garland that was hanging on the windows came crashing down and hit the Christmas tree box with a thud. All of us started laughing and I was certain it was her wings knocking it down as she flew up to be with our Grandfather.
We were all hugging, crying, texting, calling, and skyping people for a while. Twenty-seven minutes later, something that I will never forget happened. My Aunt Janet, Corky's wife, walked in the room, with tears running down her face and a huge smile. She walked over to my dad and I and said, "Terry, Katie...THEY GOT A PASSPORT!" Even after Grandma passed away, she was still taking care of her family. I looked up at my dad and said, "Heaven IS for real!" I got my sign.
Keep AnnMarie, her daughter, and Corky in your prayers. They are headed to the US Embassy on Wednesday morning for their Visa, and then hope to be on a plane back to the good ole' USA by 11:30pm Wednesday night.
I'm not one of those people who are going to preach to you about what you should or shouldn't believe in. One thing I do know for certain, is Ann Marie's daughter has a special guardian angel watching over her and I now believe that heaven is for real!
1 comment:
Amazing... a special woman I can tell. My thoughts are with you:)
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